WW and my guilt. A very honest post.

So I have been not wanting to post this for the past week because I am completely out of control! Ever since I last posted of my 1.8lb gain I can't seem to kick my ass into gear and get back on the bandwagon. I don't want to make excuses for myself, but we are closing on a house this week, Dan is interviewing like crazy (nothing yet, but a 2nd interview on Thurs), and we BOTH had a major fall out with my mother (it could be a novel seriously- that will be a separate post).
Ugh I was so proud of myself and now I feel once again like an out of control food addict. I know everyone tells me not to be so hard on myself, and I truly do not go around whining to everyone about this so my blog is my only outlet. I know the issue with my mother is seriously affecting my eating habits. She was so pissed off she flew off to Boston for the week (thank God because Dan and I could not take anymore) and is flying back in tonight. Subsequently I have already had TWO- YES- TWO huge handfuls of those chocolate covered peanut candies called Goobers. I don't even really like them ! lol
I think what I am going to do is go in and talk to my WW meeting leader. She is in her mid 30s and seems so down to earth and cool. I actually didn't even weigh in this week because I knew how bad it was going to be...
Sorry for the debbie downer post... I have to get on the bandwagon and putting my eating out there into blog world makes me feel some what accountable for my diet. Thanks for listening!

My Papi

Our Father Daughter Dance.

Happy Father's Day to the best papi around. He just got back from business in China and he's pretty jet lagged, but I am dragging him to the Lazy 5 ranch to go pet all sorts of wild creatures lol. My dad has been there through thick and thin with me and has taught me how to be strong (well try to be) and successful (I'm trying I promise! lol).

I'm so glad to have him.

New Tunes!

So I decided to make a quick post every so often about new music I add to my ipod. I love to read about what other people have on their ipods and I get great ideas to add to mine as well. I always read my magazines suggestions for new tunes, but unfortunately nothing is really great. I love when you are working out or sitting out at a bbq and a great song that comes on that you really love and is so unexpected.
Recent purchases include:

Use Somebody- Kings of Leon........ Love this guy's voice! Mucho sexy.

Falling Slowing-The Frames......... I saw a dancer dance to this on SYTYCD and loved it.Very delicate and pretty!

Dirty Work- Steely Dan....... I love listening to old school songs while working in the house or the yard- it brings me back to my childhood listening to my parents music.

I Love College- Asher Roth..... I only really dig this song when I've been drinking... its a love hate relationship.

Fade into you- Mazzy Star...... Sexy. Enough said.

GRACE or coincidence???

So I have tell what happened to me today. The real point of the story happens at the end, but as a teaser I will say this truly will be a day I will never forget.

So to set the scene I was driving home from the barn this evening around 7pm. The road that leads from the barn is two lanes and VERY curvy. I travel this road normally speeding between 50-60mph (speed limit 45mph) and tonight was no exception. Out of no where this old school blue Integra comes up to pass me on A CURVE!!!!!!! I seriously thought I was seeing things as he must have been going 85mph. As we rounded the curve we both saw an oncoming car in the opposite lane. I literally had to slam on the brakes so he could squeeze through without slamming head on to the car. I laid on my horn and was downright pissed and shaken by the whole incident. I thought to myself this guy must be drunk because not even a sober stupid kid would try that move. I tried speeding up enough to keep him in view, but he was going so fast he was out of sight within mere seconds. I decided it would sound stupid to call the cops since I did not even have a license plate number.
A few miles down the road I went to turn on my blinker to take a left when I saw THE BLUE CAR flipped over on the side of the road! I was shocked as I almost felt like I knew this was what was waiting for me at the end of the road. I quickly drove over and ran to the car. It was completely totalled and the kid was crawling out of the window. He had massive head trauma.
A neighbor who was mowing his lawn came running over and said he had heard the crash and had already called 911. The neighbor was so shaken by the sight of this kid he just started nervously picking up the mangled pieces of car that were strewn everywhere and repeating that the ambulance was on its way. As much adrenaline as I had going through me I managed to stay calm and be assertive with the kid not to move as I knew he must have had neck injuries as well. The kid reeked of alchol. I felt a feeling of total anger and sadness ... it was like watching a movie or an ad for MADD. The kid's whole left side of his head had nearly tripled in size and his fingers were completely lacerated.
Soon the ambulance came as well as the kid's cousin who he had called from his cell phone. In all this confusion and mayhem he had told me this was the 4th car he had flipped. I truly wanted to smack him right there, but I did fear it wouldn't help the head wound he already had going on.
As the paramedics looked at him I backed off and waited with the neighbor and a cyclist who had saw the accident as well. Suddenly I looked up and noticed a mound of mulch which was nicely planted with shrubbery and in the middle was a 8ft wooden cross. You know the amazing pictures people send you in your email- this was exactly that.... It made every hair on my arms stand up. Just as I noticed the cross I looked over and the kid's cousin was pointing to the cross. We both caught eyes and I just simply nodded my head. After taking out three mailboxes and flipping three times the car landed up right right in front of this cross and within about four feet of it.

Later as the kid's cousin walked up to us the cyclist mentioned how lucky the kid was to be alive. The cousin simply looked at the cross and said it was grace.

Tonight was one of those moments in life where you feel like you were meant to be somewhere at that exact moment. I was meant to be there with those people and that kid and see that cross.
Now I will be the first to admit I am not the most religious person and normally lean more towards the agnostic side of things, BUT and this is a big BUT.... this just seemed bigger than any of us at the accident scene. I drove away with the word grace in my head...could it really be God's grace or just a mere coincidence? One really has to wonder.....


Disclaimer** I am so exhausted Im not even going to read over this post... if I have mispelled or seem incoherent I apologize:)

Lovely day on the lake...other than flashing people.

So Dan and I took the boat out for a great jaunt around Lake Norman. I was so excited to get back to working on my tan! Of course that brings to mind why I hate tanning when you have high lights that turn almost platinum in the sun! I had to wrap my tank top around my head so I wouldn't end up looking like I came off of some Vh1 reality show. Seriously I looked like I had a turban on my head most of the day (yes I forgot my hat), but I just came to grips that it can't get any blonder without looking like a bottle of bleach was dumped on my head. Then we decided to take a dip in the water- everything was great until I was coming up the ladder and my bagged out bikini bottoms fell down to around my knees. The TRAUMA of it all lol!~ But seriously if anyone knows how busy Lake Norman is on a weekend day you know that my buttocks was on show for about five boats around us. I ended up freezing in place not knowing whether or not to fall back in the water or continue climbing into the boat with my full moon. I quickly scammered up into the boat because I didn't want to go through the whole scenario again lol
Ok enough of my hair trauma and wardrobe malfunctions- the day was absolutely beautiful and we ended up coming back home and making a great dinner. I did a stir fry of green, yellow, and red peppers with mushrooms and chicken over Jasmine rice. We then decided to take a ride by our property. We seriously must drive by it three times a week. We close on the 23rd and feel like it can't come soon enough.
p.s. Did I say seriously enough in this post? lol

WHAT?! You are kidding me, right?

***Disclaimer: I apologize for the caps ahead of time***
So yes this post did merit the title. I'm totally bummed! I went to weigh in at my WW meeting tonight and I was dreading it... I have been traveling for the past four days on top of being completely stressed out with a house closing coming up and getting by business straightened out (Even though I THOUGHT I ate decently this past week- I only had one pretty fattening meal- and that was my meal I give myself once every two weeks for a treat). So I tell the woman how I'm dreading getting on this scale and you know how you give the person on the other side the whole story about how you thought you were doing good, but maybe you weren't, but you are praying the numbers aren't going to kill you. The numbers DON'T LIE. But what was truly shocking is after I got off the scale I asked if I had gained, and the woman politely said "you are slightly up." So I walk out the door (I skipped the meeting as I was late for a movie night with my hubbs) look at my numbers and DIE. LITERALLY DIE (in my best Rachel Zoe voice) Can someone please explain to me how I gained 1.8 pounds back?! Ok so I was seriously thinking maybe .5 might be appropriate, but 1.8- is this a cruel joke? Hubbs was so good and supportive and was telling me it was either water weight or maybe my treat dinner really did do me in (my Pad Thai was so spicey it was down right giving me heartburn as we were eating it- God, looking back was it even worth it? lol) or maybe because my hormones have been all out of whack since changing pills (I know I know...TMI) But I told him not to make excuses for me. I had slacked. I had not been measuring to the T like I should and lets not take into account all the "bites" I took of his food.
So I'm back to 5.4 lbs instead of 7.2lbs. Well, that settles it. I am going to get all Weight Watcher nazi on myself and get back on track. My goal is to lose not only the 1.8lbs I gained, but lose another 2lbs. I will let you know how it goes... ugh the suckiness that will be my week.

GAS give away!!!

So can you believe someone was smart enough to do a giveaway with a gas card?! Of course we all love beauty products and preppy stuff, but this is so practical and I'm so happy someone out of the goodness of their heart is doing a give away like this and thought to be so smart about it! Please check out Shasta at My Blonde Reality- her blog is a daily read and she will inspire you with her honest and sincere posts! P.S. Here is the link- Check it out!!!

Restoration Hardware

We have the closing for the house on the 12th (next Friday- yikes!) and I'm already scanning the home decor magazines. One thing I know for a fact that what I do not want to do is make paint mistakes like I have in the past. Our previous house (which is now our "rental/investment property" aka nothing is selling in this market any time soon) had nearly four different colors in our master bedroom (by the fourth one I was just over it and kept it lol). We did finally fine a living room color that we love by Ralph Lauren called "Wicker Matt" and its a great creamy pale butter yellow. I'm thinking I will probably do light yellow in the living room of this house, except it has to be exactly what I want as the house has catherdral ceilings and if its a color mistake - it will be a BIG color mistake. I might do a nice crisp khaki too.... I also love all of the Farrow & Ball colors... although its so hard to get a hold on the paint... its only sold in exclusive stores or you can order for a gazillion dollars lol I do plan on buying small sample colors if I can to try it out. I am currently in love with the above Restoration Hardware colors- I would love to do my whole house in them- I think they are pretty designer chic!!!

Magic Bullet?

So I received a Magic Bullet food processor for a wedding gift and it has ended up in my kitchen cabinet never being used (I actually think my hubbs is using one of the colorful rimmed plastic glasses as a doggy kibble scooper lol). I'm now itching to try it out.... If anyone likes their magic bullet please let me know and any tips/recipes would be greatly appreciated!

True love

In the beginning... yes I had very dark hair for awhile.
I love him.

On our honeymoon in Boston at the GORGEOUS Langham hotel.

In Marblehead, MA.

Cute hair babe lol

Half of the family.

True love.

I decided this morning over coffee that I wanted to make a little bloggy post about my hubbs . He is my true best friend and the best husband a girl could ask for... He always brings home flowers if I'm feeling down, writes me the sweetest cards, always gives me a bite of his food first (when I'm stuck eating salad), makes sure to plug in my cell phone for me at night so I don't forget, and makes me coffee in the morning just the way I like it (it takes a slight art to get it right lol). He really is so perfect for me and I'm so happy to have him, and in consideration of this I decided to post some of my favorite pictures.

Tonight Show

So I came across some really cute blog backgrounds and decided to finagle (am I even spelling this right?) the blog, but alas you can see what happened.... It was a sad moment and I was just so darn frustrated I decided I couldn't deal with it tonight.. I will deal with it tomorrow (in the voice of Scarlett O'Hara)I'm just too tired and I think I'm just going to watch Conan's debut on the Tonight Show and see how he does... I must say so far the new stage/ studio whatever you call it is pretty spectacular- and I do have to say Conan's hair is even higher than before! Really what wonder hair spray does this guy use..him and Rihanna.. for real!? I don't really have an opinion on Conan, but I will miss Jay Leno. I'm used to falling asleep to his stately chin every night lol.
In other thoughts, Dan and I are still closing on the house on June 12th (if our mortgage lady can pull off this quick closing- the sellers decided they wanted to go on vacation a week early and push up the closing- much to our mortgage lady's dismay). We just cannot wait to be in our own little home on our acreage and start our own family. As much as I love my parents- we just need our space desperately and cannot wait to unload all of our stuff that has been sitting in boxes in the lake house garage. I'm going into full blown decorating mode and will make sure to post some pictures asap.

5.2 lbs!

So I have a quick happy post to make--- So far I am down 5.2 lbs! How exciting is that?! I'm pretty happy to report that the weight watcher's diet has not been hard to follow- except for the one week during the month that I feel like I could eat a truck load of Peanut Butter Panic ice cream lol. I have been so busy I haven't been putting much into the whole exercise thing... which I thoroughly do plan on turning around, but so far 5.2 is so good! I'm a happy girl!~