WW and my guilt. A very honest post.

So I have been not wanting to post this for the past week because I am completely out of control! Ever since I last posted of my 1.8lb gain I can't seem to kick my ass into gear and get back on the bandwagon. I don't want to make excuses for myself, but we are closing on a house this week, Dan is interviewing like crazy (nothing yet, but a 2nd interview on Thurs), and we BOTH had a major fall out with my mother (it could be a novel seriously- that will be a separate post).
Ugh I was so proud of myself and now I feel once again like an out of control food addict. I know everyone tells me not to be so hard on myself, and I truly do not go around whining to everyone about this so my blog is my only outlet. I know the issue with my mother is seriously affecting my eating habits. She was so pissed off she flew off to Boston for the week (thank God because Dan and I could not take anymore) and is flying back in tonight. Subsequently I have already had TWO- YES- TWO huge handfuls of those chocolate covered peanut candies called Goobers. I don't even really like them ! lol
I think what I am going to do is go in and talk to my WW meeting leader. She is in her mid 30s and seems so down to earth and cool. I actually didn't even weigh in this week because I knew how bad it was going to be...
Sorry for the debbie downer post... I have to get on the bandwagon and putting my eating out there into blog world makes me feel some what accountable for my diet. Thanks for listening!

WHAT?! You are kidding me, right?

***Disclaimer: I apologize for the caps ahead of time***
So yes this post did merit the title. I'm totally bummed! I went to weigh in at my WW meeting tonight and I was dreading it... I have been traveling for the past four days on top of being completely stressed out with a house closing coming up and getting by business straightened out (Even though I THOUGHT I ate decently this past week- I only had one pretty fattening meal- and that was my meal I give myself once every two weeks for a treat). So I tell the woman how I'm dreading getting on this scale and you know how you give the person on the other side the whole story about how you thought you were doing good, but maybe you weren't, but you are praying the numbers aren't going to kill you. The numbers DON'T LIE. But what was truly shocking is after I got off the scale I asked if I had gained, and the woman politely said "you are slightly up." So I walk out the door (I skipped the meeting as I was late for a movie night with my hubbs) look at my numbers and DIE. LITERALLY DIE (in my best Rachel Zoe voice) Can someone please explain to me how I gained 1.8 pounds back?! Ok so I was seriously thinking maybe .5 might be appropriate, but 1.8- is this a cruel joke? Hubbs was so good and supportive and was telling me it was either water weight or maybe my treat dinner really did do me in (my Pad Thai was so spicey it was down right giving me heartburn as we were eating it- God, looking back was it even worth it? lol) or maybe because my hormones have been all out of whack since changing pills (I know I know...TMI) But I told him not to make excuses for me. I had slacked. I had not been measuring to the T like I should and lets not take into account all the "bites" I took of his food.
So I'm back to 5.4 lbs instead of 7.2lbs. Well, that settles it. I am going to get all Weight Watcher nazi on myself and get back on track. My goal is to lose not only the 1.8lbs I gained, but lose another 2lbs. I will let you know how it goes... ugh the suckiness that will be my week.

5.2 lbs!

So I have a quick happy post to make--- So far I am down 5.2 lbs! How exciting is that?! I'm pretty happy to report that the weight watcher's diet has not been hard to follow- except for the one week during the month that I feel like I could eat a truck load of Peanut Butter Panic ice cream lol. I have been so busy I haven't been putting much into the whole exercise thing... which I thoroughly do plan on turning around, but so far 5.2 is so good! I'm a happy girl!~

New Shoes:)

So I am so happy to report that the WW meeting was kind of like stepping off a cliff and landing on a cloud (weird analogy lol) Anyways what I mean to say is that I'm relieved I went.. of course the scale was not reading a number I even wanted to fathom could belong to me.. I knew I made a good first step towards a skinny mini healthy me. I was so proud of myself I went shopping... for new running shoes! I fell in love with these and they are very comfortable! They are the new Nike Shocks.

Today has already been a much better day because I am happy to have the feeling of control back. I even went to Target and purchased a small notebook to write all my points down. Also on my agenda today was buying our mothers some flowers for M-Day. Geesh! $180 for two bouquets.... am I in the wrong business or what? I sent both of our mothers two vases full of pink Tulips from the Martha Stewart Collection (Im sure that had something to do with the price). I have to make this short but for anyone who reads this now or down the road after this post - if you know of any blogs that have twentysomething bloggers blogging about Weight Watchers please pass me their urls. I need the motivation! Thanks!

Weight Watchers HERE I COME!

So I think maybe.... j u s t m a y b e ...... I have realized I need to get my butt into Weight Watchers- and really make it a lifestyle not something just to get on for a few months to lose weight . So you know how when you feel your eating is completely out of control and you feel like a total idiot for going to the fridge yet again when you know its not going to be a pretty outcome? How many of us just say to ourselves "THIS IS IT! This is the last hoorah, the last day to splurge because tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your skinny life"? I feel like I've been saying that for the last three months. Its always scarry and its always a question of whether or not you can do it.... I just can't keep telling myself "tomorrow I will start" because it never happens. So tonight I am going to Weight Watchers at 6pm. There is a meeting tomorrow at 7pm at a place closer, but this is desperation setting in and I am willing to drive further tonight to jump start it TONIGHT. I've done WW in the past, but the last time I was on (in Sept.) I was on a roll (6lbs in 1.5 wks) so I thought it would be even better to throw a personal trainer in the mix as well. Ummm... no. I ended up getting someone who thought "Don't use WW Just eat protein, protein, protein and don't worry about the fat grams!!!" So I got off of it- I did tone up, but the scale didn't budge much (I'm sure I did lose a few lbs of fat that turned into muscle, but mentally I really needed to see the scale move).
So long story short I am going to keep updates on the blog to document my WW journey as well as documenting my life in general. Please wish me luck, cross your fingers, keep me in your prayers, show support or anything else you can possibly think of- I'm going to need all I can get!!!

Spring and herbs!

Lola sends her love to everyone!

Rosemary, Lemon Thyme, Mint, Basil, and Parsley

Spring is here!
So after coming to the conclusion that just about every recipe on foodnetwork.com calls for fresh herbs I though that I might as well grown my own. So lets all just say a little prayer that they don't end up like the rest of my plants (I'm sure everyone knows how that story ends). SO FAR SO GOOD. Lola bean even decided to get in on the picture- she sends her love ! I then noticed as I was watering my way too pricey hanging ferns (I mean $20 for a fern? Really...?) A bird flew out and on closer inspection we have five little eggs in a nest. As cute as it is.. now I have to find a way to water my fern and not water the nest lol.

Today I woke up in all my cold sick glory (still sick:( and dropped my momma off at the airport- I seriously get light headed driving down Billy Graham Parkway to Charlotte Douglas Airport... I don't do well with flying... even dropping and picking people off makes me uneasy. Although it started after 9/11- I'm not so much scared of terrorists as I am a plane going down and me having no control- I'm a tad bit of a controller if you haven't gotten that already. I then came home and started looking into where weight watcher meetings are around me- Its time for me to be accountable for my eating and ww does work- I just need to be committed to being committed.

I wish I had taken some pics the past few days as it has been sunny and beautiful at the lake... I actually got really good color and it felt great to have a tan! Now its been overcast and I can see the color going= I'm going to the tanning bed... I know its soooo bad, but I'm like an addict that just got a taste of some color and I need more!

Also ended up watching Slumdog Millionaire this weekend- very good!