The friend who got away...

I think everyone has had one of those great friendships that ultimately bit the dust. Whether you wanted it to or not, it just slowly dissolved into something that didn't have the slightest resemblance of the friendship you used to share together. I had one of those and still seven years later I have times where I mourn the lost of that friendship.
I found a kindred spirit in my little friend, and when I say little, I mean we were definitely that odd pair- me at 5'11 and her at 5'3. Our friendship started the first few months freshmen year in high school and we were soon inseparable. We shared laughs, cries, and could be with each other for days on end and still find things to talk about and share. I imagined she would be standing next to me at my wedding and I would be there when she had her first baby. We had a great run- four full years of high school and our freshmen year in college. In fact, when I had been accepted to the University of Tennessee she cleverly made up a sheet of why I should not attend, but instead stay in FL to go to UCF with her. We made a few weekend trips to the latter and then it was decision time. I chose to stay in my comfort zone, room with her, and attend UCF. I wasn't happy I will admit it that first year. She and I were slowly moving in opposite directions. We wanted desperately to meet new people, but I also stubbornly held on to our friendship. It was like seeing it slowly sinking on a ship, but all I could do was watch. August 2004 was the summer of the hurricanes for Florida. She and I had decided our sophomore year of college to still remain close, however it was time to bunk with other people. She stayed in our apartment complex and moved in with three other people. I ended up rooming at a new apartment complex with a girl I had met in speech class (boy what a mistake that ever was). The night hurricane Charlie swept through FL I called her up, tears streaming down my face. My childhood home was taken from us by that cruel storm. Her roommate had answered her phone and said she was busy (busy with the party they were throwing at the apartment). I felt betrayed. I needed her more than ever. I went over to her apartment the next day before I headed out on my four hour drive home to see the damage. I came in, said a few choice words, and left with her standing in the hallway calling out to me. In retrospect I should have stayed, listened to her, fought about it and gotten over it. Later through mutual friends I learned she was over our friendship. In all my fury and angst with losing our family house I had lost my best friend as well. I sent her a scathing email. That was my last contact with her.
Seven years later. We are both married. She lives in TX now and I live in NC. I mourn our lost friendship. I haven't had that close of a girl friend since and the way I left things is one of my biggest regrets. I think sometimes about writing her, but the fear of a flat out rejection of my very existence scares me from doing so. One day I will get the guts to send her that letter, but until then she is my very best friend that got away....